Rethinking “Smart”: How Emotional Skills Shape Success

For decades, people believed that success could be measured by intelligence—a single IQ score that labeled you as smart or not.

The glory day of the IQ test began in World War I—over two million American men were sorted using pen-and-paper IQ tests (Goleman, 1996). These tests were developed by Lewis Terman, a psychologist at Stanford, and quickly became a powerful tool for ranking intelligence.

This led to what Howard Gardner called the IQ way of thinking: that people are either “smart” or “not smart,” that you are born that way, and that there’s not much you can do to change it. If you got a high score, you were seen as capable. If you didn’t, people often assumed you just weren’t cut out for it—and your potential was overlooked.

This “IQ mindset” didn’t just stay in the military—it spread through schools and society. Even today, many education systems remain heavily focused on academic performance. Success is often measured by grades, test scores, and cognitive ability.

And while doing well on an IQ test can predict success in the classroom—or a career as a professor—it becomes less reliable as life moves beyond school. As pathways diversify and life becomes more complex, something else begins to matter even more.

That “something” is emotional intelligence.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters More Than Ever

Every child begins their journey in school. This makes it one of the most powerful places to reach children with essential life lessons—especially those they may not learn anywhere else.

Childhood is a unique window of opportunity. It’s a time when children are forming beliefs about themselves, others, and the world. It’s when habits of thinking, feeling, and relating are shaped.

Emotional intelligence is not about how smart you are academically. It’s about how well you understand and manage yourself—and how effectively you connect with others.

It includes two key areas:

1. Intrapersonal Intelligence (Self-to-Self Skills)

This is the ability to look inward.

It’s about understanding your thoughts, feelings, and motivations. It’s learning to pause, reflect, and make sense of what’s happening inside you.

Children with strong intrapersonal skills can:

• Recognise and name their emotions.
• Understand how their thoughts influence their feelings.
• Manage challenges with greater resilience.
• Develop self-awareness and confidence.

In short, intrapersonal intelligence helps children know themselves, make better decisions, and navigate life with confidence.

2. Interpersonal Intelligence (People Skills)

This is the ability to understand others.

It’s about recognising what motivates people, how they feel, and how to work effectively and cooperatively with them.

And in everyday life, no other intelligence is more important.

Without strong interpersonal skills, children may struggle with friendships, conflict, teamwork, and decision-making. With them, they can build meaningful relationships and navigate the social world with confidence.

Children with strong interpersonal skills can:

• Show empathy and kindness.
• Communicate clearly and respectfully.
• Resolve conflicts in healthy ways.
• Build and maintain positive relationships.

Shifting the Focus: From IQ to Life Skills

Academic ability matters—but it’s not enough on its own. A child can be incredibly bright on paper, yet struggle to manage emotions, handle setbacks, or build relationships.

And these are the very skills that shape life outcomes.

If we want children to thrive—not just in school, but in life—we must intentionally teach emotional intelligence.

Because success isn’t just about what you know.

It’s about how you think, how you feel, and how you connect.

The Role of Schools

Schools have a powerful opportunity—and responsibility—to go beyond academics.

They are uniquely positioned to equip children with the emotional and social skills they need for life. For some children, these may be lessons they would not otherwise receive.

By embedding emotional intelligence into education, we can help children:

• Make better decisions.
• Build stronger relationships.
• Navigate challenges with resilience.
• Develop a deeper understanding of themselves and others.

How Get GRIT Builds Emotional Intelligence

The Get GRIT Program focuses on developing both intrapersonal and interpersonal skills through four interconnected units:

• Getting Along – students learn to build positive relationships, communicate effectively, and navigate social situations with empathy. This is all about interpersonal skills.
• Resilient Thinking – students learn to manage their thoughts, feelings and behaviour, persevere through setbacks, and approach challenges with optimism and grit. These are core intrapersonal skills.
• Identifying Emotions – students learn to recognise and understand their own emotions as well as the emotions of others. This unit bridges intrapersonal and interpersonal skills, helping children connect self-awareness with social awareness.
• Taking Charge – students learn to set personal goals, manage their time, and develop a growth mindset, strengthening intrapersonal skills that support independence and confidence.

Together, these units equip children with the tools to understand themselves, relate to others, and navigate life with resilience and confidence.

At Get GRIT, we believe that every child deserves these skills.

Because when we teach children how to understand themselves and others, we’re not just preparing them for school—we’re preparing them for life.