Lesson NINE - How to Fix a Wrinkled Heart

 

Lower Primary

 

Negotiating and Resolving Conflict

 


SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL COMPETENCY: Social-Management

 

LEARNING INTENT

Students will:

 

  • Identify helpful and unhelpful ways to resolve conflict

  • Learn how to make positive and responsible decisions

 

 

KEY VOCABULARY: Conflict resolution, problem-solving, win-win, win-lose, compromise, collaborate, give in, stubborn, negotiate, resolve, avoid, cooperate.

Resources

Background Information

Disagreements between friends are bound to happen. Teaching children conflict resolutions skills can have a positive impact on their relationships, self-esteem and learning.  Children who have effective conflict resolution skills are happier, have better friendships and are better learners at school.  Playground disagreements can distract students from their learning and have a negative effect on academic outcomes.

Today’s lesson prepares students for negotiating and resolving conflict.  Conflict resolution skills are not innate, they need to be learned and practised. There are many friendly solutions to help friendships during conflict.  Today’s lesson will look at helpful ways and unhelpful ways to resolve disagreements. 
  
Unhelpful ways to resolve conflict involve a lose-lose or a win-lose outcome.  When conflicts are thought of as a competition where one person wins and the either loses, the disagreement may only be resolved short-term.  Often a win-lose outcome will create a new set of problems, such as feelings of resentment or fear in the child who loses and may encourage the child who wins to use intimidation to get what they want.  Unhelpful ways to resolve conflict include force, avoidance and accommodation (giving in).

Helpful ways to resolve conflict involve win-win outcomes where both parties work together to find a solution where everyone wins.  Helpful ways to resolve conflict involve compromise and collaboration.

Children require a combination of well-developed social and emotional skills to manage conflicts and disagreements.  Throughout the program, many of the skills needed for conflict resolution have been taught, such as managing emotions (in particular anger), communicating effectively, empathising (understanding other people’s emotions) and listening even when you disagree. 

 

Students will then be introduced to 5 different ways to manage conflict using different animals to explain the different conflict styles.  Students will also practise resolving conflicts following Owl’s three steps to resolve conflict.

Lesson Plan

1.    Introduce Lesson and Review Previous Lesson 

Review previous session by asking students to remember what was covered in the last session. Shape students’ responses to reflect the learning intent from the previous lesson. Revise Group guidelines.
        
Welcome back.  Last week learned more about making friendships work. We looked at how to win and lose gracefully, how to stay friends over different opinions and the importance of being honest.  
In today’s lesson we will look at helpful ways and unhelpful ways to resolve disagreements.

2.    A Gratitude Attitude (5 minutes) 

Sit in a circle. Ask each student to share something that they are grateful for or something positive that has happened to them this week. This simple activity is training students to be positive and to have a gratitude attitude.

A gratitude attitude focuses on the NOW!  Try to pay attention and be thankful for what you already have and not worry about what you don’t have.  People with a gratitude attitude are positive, resilient and happy.

3.    Activity 1: Introducing Conflict Styles (10 minutes)

Disagreements are bound to happen in every friendship.  No matter how old you are!  Disagreements tend to happen more when you’re a kid, because you and your friends are still learning the skills to fix problems when you are playing together. Today we are going to learn helpful ways and unhelpful ways to resolve conflicts.  I’m going to introduce to you 5 different animals who represent the 5 different ways to take on a conflict, not all of them are helpful in solving a disagreement. 

 

Pass around stuffed toy as you talk about each animal.  The first animal is Crocodile.

Crocodile

 

Never smile at a crocodile because crocodiles snap!   Crocodiles are unfriendly and unhappy.  If you want to solve a disagreement like a crocodile, there will be yelling, arguing and no one will win and no-one will be happy. This is an unhelpful way to solve a disagreement.

Puppy dog

 

Puppy dog tries to make everyone happy so will give in.  If you want to solve a disagreement like a puppy dog, one person will be happy and will get want they want.  But the other person who gives in to make everyone else happy does not get what they want.  This is an unhelpful way to solve a disagreement. It will solve the disagreement but only one person gets what they want.

Turtle

The third animal is turtle.  Turtle hides from an argument.  Turtle doesn’t like to argue so avoids disagreements by hiding.  This is an unhelpful way to solve a disagreement, because again only one person gets what they want and is happy.  Sometimes, walking away is a good option because if your emotions are high, it can give you time to cool down.

 

Rabbit

Rabbit likes to compromise so that both people in the conflict are happy.  Rabbit hops back and forth.  Both friends give up something. This is a helpful way to solve a disagreement because everyone gets what they want.

Old wise owl  

 

Owl tries to sort out the problem.  If you want to solve a disagreement like an owl, both people in the argument will work out the problem so both people are happy. 

4.     Activity 2: Helpful and unhelpful ways to solve a conflict (15 minutes)

We are going to watch 4 short movies now.  While you are watching the movie, I want you to think about which animal it reminds you of. 

Conflict Style 1 – Force (Crocodile)

If no internet connection, ask for two volunteers to act out Conflict Style 1 role-play OR watch Dr Suess ‘The Zax’.

 

Pose questions


-    What were the Zaxs’ arguing about? 
-    Did they resolve the conflict?
-    What happened?
-    How do you think they felt?
-    Which animal does it remind you of?

 

The conflict was not resolved, and both Zax’s were unhappy. We call this a lose-lose approach where no one gets what they want.  Let’s think of some words that describe how croc approaches a conflict. 

Write answers on board.  Possible answers: snaps, argues, yells, intimidates, is stubborn, unfriendly, unhelpful


Conflict Style 2 – Collaboration  (Old Wise Owl)

If no Internet connection, ask for two volunteers to act out Conflict Style 2 role-play OR watch the Squirrel and Raccoon.  

** If video is not showing type into google "Bridge" by Ting Chian Tey 

Pose questions


-    What happened?
-    Did they resolve the conflict?
-    How did rabbit and squirrel solve the problem?
-    How do you think they felt?

-    Which animal does it remind you of?

 

The conflict was solved, and both were happy.  We call this a win-win approach where everyone gets what they want and is happy.  Let’s think of some words to describe  how old wise owl approaches a conflict. 

Write answers on board. Possible answers: solves problem, work together, cooperate, collaborate, happy, friendly.

Conflict Style 3 – Avoidance (turtle)

If no internet connection , ask for two volunteers to act out Conflict Style 3 role-play or watch 
Shrek and Donkey – stop at 40 seconds. 

Pose questions:


-    What happened?
-    Did they resolve the conflict?
-    How do you think donkey was feeling?
-    How do you think Shrek was feeling?
-    Which animal does it remind you of?

 

The conflict wasn’t solved.  Shrek avoided the conflict by walking away.   Shrek was angry and needed to calm down.  Sometimes, walking away allows you to cool down.  However, it doesn’t solve the problem.  The turtle avoids conflict by hiding or walking away.  Let’s think of some words to describe how turtle approaches a conflict.

Write student responses on white board. Possible answers: avoids, walks away, hides, cools down, calms down, ignore

Conflict Style 4 – Compromise (rabbit)

If no Internet connection, ask for two volunteers to act out Conflict Style 4 role-play or watch Olive Branch. 

Pose Questions:


-    What happened?
-    Did they resolve the conflict?
-    How did they resolve the conflict?
-    Which animal does it remind you of?

The conflict was solved, and both were happy.  We call this a win-win approach where everyone gets what they want and is happy.  Let’s think of some words to describe how rabbit approaches a conflict. 

Write student answers on white board.  Possible answers: compromise, sharing, taking turns, respect

Conflict Style 5 – Giving In/Accommodating (puppy dog)

Ask for two volunteers to act out Conflict Style 5 role-play.

Sometimes one person may get what they want but the other person doesn’t.  We call this a win-lose outcomes.  One person wins and one person loses. If you or a friend gives in often, it isn’t fair.  It’s OK to give in to a friend sometimes, but it isn’t fair if you have to give in ALL the time. Let's thinks of some words to describe how puppy dog approaches a conflict.

Write student answers on board.  Possible answers: giving in, accommodating, taking turns, cooperating.

5.    Activity 3: Resolving a Disagreement (10 minutes)

We are going to learn how to solve a conflict like wise old owl.

Step 1: Self-check

Ask yourself: Am I ready to solve this?

If you are too angry or too upset, give yourself a chance to calm and cool down.  You know when you are ready when you are are able to:
1.    Listen without interrupting
2.    Be honest
3.    Not fight or argue

Step 2: Listen

  • Listen to your friend tell their side of the story

  • When you are telling your side of the story, try to use I messages

  • Let your friend know that you understood what they were saying by telling them what you
    heard. Start with, ‘I heard you say…’ When you are telling your side of the story, try to use
    ‘I’ messages.

  • Each person experiences conflict from their own point of view, it’s OK to disagree!

  • Don’t fall into the trap of arguing about who is right! Solving a conflict like an owl is about listening and solving the problem together.

 

Step 3: Solve

  • Talk about many possible solutions until you find a compromise like Kangaroo or a solution like Owl

  • If you are having trouble solving the problem, ask an adult for help!

 

6.    Activity 4: Role play scenarios (10 minutes)

We are going to practise resolving a conflict.  Does anyone have a real life conflict that they would like to practice solving with the group?  

 

Ask for 2 volunteers to role-play the following scenarios. 

Scenarios 


1. It is lunch time. Your friend wants to play a game of soccer, but you want to play in the sand pit.
2. You and your friend are playing handball.  The ball bounces twice in your square.  Your friend calls, ‘You’re out?’ You argue that your rules are different and the ball is allowed to bounce twice.
3. Your friend takes your pencil without asking.
4. Your friend wants to play in the library, but you want to run outside.  The library is only open on this day.


7.    Concluding Discussion (5 minutes)

Disagreements between friends are bound to happen.  Next time, when you are having a disagreement with a friend, say to them, ‘If we talk, I’m sure we can work this out’.  Listen to your friend’s side of the story and what they want.  Tell your friend your side of the story and what you want.  Remember to try and use ‘I’ messages. Solving a conflict like an owl or like a rabbit will make everyone happy.  

 

Close session: Thank the group for their participation throughout the session.  Encourage them to practice the new skills they learned during the week.  Share with the group an exciting activity that they will do during the next GRIT lesson.