Lesson TEN - Be Kind
How to Respond to Bullies
SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL COMPETENCY: Social-Management
Practice being assertive and how to say ‘no’
Learn how to respond to bullies and how to speak up
Practice giving and receiving compliments
KEY VOCABULARY: bully, teasing, dobbing, reporting, filling, dipping, empty, aggressive, repeated, clear, firm.
Book - ‘Have You Filled Your Bucket Today?’ By Carol McCloud.
The last lesson in the program focuses on how to respond to bullies.
Kids Helpline () encourages children to:
Keep their distance from the bullying
Don't bully back
Tell them what they are doing is not OK
Talk to an adult they trust
Take some time to do something nice for themselves
Lesson 10 focuses on what bullying behaviour looks like and the difference between joking around and a one off ‘teasing’ event. Children are taught that bullying behaviour is repeated, aggressive behaviour that intends to hurt or scare a victim. The children are taught the difference between tattling verse reporting and the importance of reporting bullying behaviour to an adult.
Often, children are told to ignore a bully in the hope that the problem will go away. Bullying is not okay and should not be ignored. Sometimes the more a bully thinks he/she can target a victim without a response, the more he/she will continue to do so. This lesson focuses on teaching children how to be assertive and how to stand up for themselves. An assertive response is an effective way to show a bully that he doesn’t have power over a victim. Aggressive comebacks that put down or attack a bully will invite further abuse. Children need to learn assertive phrases that are non-confrontational, that stand up to bullies and stop the bullying behaviour.
1. Introduce Lesson and Review Previous Lesson
Review previous session by asking students to remember what was covered in the last session. Shape students’ responses to reflect the learning intent from the previous lesson. Revise Group guidelines.
Welcome back. In our last lesson we looked at helpful ways and unhelpful ways to resolve disagreements. Today we are going to learn how to respond to other children who may say or do mean things. You are going to learn how to be assertive and what to say to a bully and then what you need to do.
2. A Gratitude Attitude (5 minutes)
Sit in a circle. Ask each student to share something that they are grateful for or something positive that has happened to them this week. This simple activity is training students to be positive and to have a gratitude attitude.
A gratitude attitude focuses on the NOW! Try to pay attention and be thankful for what you already have and not worry about what you don’t have. People with a gratitude attitude are positive, resilient and happy.
Activity 1: The Importance of Being Kind (10 minutes)
Did you know one kind word can change someone’s entire day?
I’m going to show you what being unkind does to a person. We have all said mean things. No-one is perfect. We are all human. I’ve said mean things to my sister/brother growing up. Sometimes we say something unkind and we don’t really mean it. We may have said it because we were really angry. The thing is our unkind words can do damage to a person.
I want to show you what it can do.
I have a peach, a healthy fresh peach. I’m going to push and gently squeeze the peach. I’m not intending to damage the peach. Just squeezing is gently.
It still looks just like a normal peach. Have a look. It doesn’t look any different does it?
I’m going to peel off the skin. Oh no! Can you see what I’ve done to the peach? I’ve bruised it! It’s broken and bruised. It doesn’t look like what a peach should look like inside.
Just like this peach, people can be bruised inside too. When you say unkind things or do unkind things you bruise someone in the inside. They might look the same on the outside but they are bruised inside just like this peach.
The good news is that it doesn’t take much to heal the bruises. If you see someone being bullied you can make a difference. It could be a matter of a smile or sitting next to them or asking if they can join your game.
Remember that one kind word can change someone’s entire day!
Let’s watch a video to see what happens when you colour someone’s world with kindness.
What happened to the person who had a kind act shown to them?
What happened to the person who showed kindness?
Two things happen when you are kind. You warm someone’s heart and you also warm your heart. You kind act makes someone feel good and it comes right back to you.
Activity 2: Have You Filled Your Bucket Today (10 minutes)
One kind word can change someone’s entire day and it can change your day, too. When you are kind, your brain releases a hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin makes you feel good. This means the kinder you are the better you feel and the happier you are. We are going to read a story about what happens when you are kind and what happens when you are unkind.
How do you think you feel when you have a full bucket?
How do you think you feel when you have an empty bucket?
With a full bucket, are you likely to be friendly or unfriendly?
When your bucket is full, you feel more confident, calm and friendly. When your bucket is overflowing, you experience intense happiness that can spread to those around you. Have you ever felt better after someone gave you a friendly smile? When you are bursting with happiness, have you ever felt like making everyone else around you happy too?
When your bucket is empty you feel sad, angry, worried or afraid. Your thoughts turn to negative I Can’t thoughts. An empty bucket can also affect your behaviour and can cause you to empty the buckets of those around you. When your bucket is empty you may start to bucket dip by making fun of someone, saying or doing unkind things, refusing to help or failing to show respect. When we have empty buckets, we may bucket dip thinking that it will help us feel better by making someone else feel sad too. But it doesn’t work, it will make us feel worse!
I want to talk to you about what bullying behaviour is and what you should do if you are getting bullied.
Pose Question: How can you tell if you are being bullied?
A bully is someone who repeatedly tries to hurt you on purpose. Bulling is never OK. It is mean and hurtful and can impact the person for a long time. There are things you can do and people you can talk to if you are being bullied. You are never alone. There are different ways you can be bullied. You may be bullied verbally. This means the bully may call you names, teasing you, put you down or threaten to hurt you. You may be bullied physically. This means the bully may hit you, kick you, break your things or push you. You may be bullied socially. This means the bully may leave you out on purpose, play mean jokes or spread mean things about you.
Activity 3: Is it Bullying? (5 minutes)
There is a difference between a disagreement, which we learned about last week, and teasing, joking around and bullying. Let’s look at each one.
Disagreement: When two people are having an argument or disagreement and a solution can usually be found.
Joking Around: When everyone is having fun and participating equally. Most importantly, no one is getting hurt.
Pose Question: Can you remember a time when you and your friends were joking around? What happened?
One-Time Thing: When someone is being mean on purpose but it happens once and doesn’t repeat itself.
Pose Question: Can you remember a time when someone was mean to you or a friend once but it didn’t happen again? What happened?
Bullying: When someone is being mean on purpose and it happens again and again.
Pose Question: Can you remember a time when you or a friend was bullied? What happened?
Activity 4: Dobbing/Tattling verse Reporting (5 minutes)
It is very important to tell adult if someone is bullying you. The adult may be a teacher that you trust and you know who will listen to you. The adult may be your Mum, your Dad or your Grandmother. Dobbing is very different from reporting a bully. Let’s look a little closer at the difference between dobbing and reporting.
Write Dobbing and Reporting on the board. Ask students to think of examples of dobbing and reporting.
Getting someone in trouble.
Behaviour you are reporting on is an accident.
Can be solved on its own.
Keeping someone safe.
Behaviour you are reporting is on purpose.
Need help from an adult.
Can you think of an example of tattling and an example of reporting?
Activity 5 : Standing up to a bully (5 minutes).
As we have learned, a bully is someone who repeatedly tries to hurt, scare or leave you out. The bully may hit, push, call you names, take your things or leave you out of a game. A bully is a bucket dipper and if you don’t stand up to them, they may continue to hurt or scare you. It is very important for you to tell an adult when someone is bullying you.
Today, we are going to learn some phrases that you can say if you ever come across a bully. When faced with a bully, it is important to be assertive.
You must look the bully in the eyes, keep your voice calm and use his or her name. It is important not to say something mean back to the bully. It’s also important to use a strong, calm voice. Let’s practise our strong, brave responses.
These are lots of phrases you can say to the bully to stand up for yourself.
You may say.
1. Cut it out
2. Knock it off
3. Not cool
4. That was not funny
5. I can take a joke, but what you said was not funny – it was mean
6. Friends don’t do that to friends
7. I like the way I look
8. Don’t do that
One at a time, each student picks a phrase to practise using the teacher's name (E.g. Michele that was not funny). Emphasis that you want to hear strong voices, using bully's name and eye contact.
Activity 6: Making a Bucket (10 minutes)
We are now going to make our own buckets. We will finish today's lesson by filling up each others' buckets.
Give each student a sheet of origami paper. You may need to help the younger students with some of the steps.
Activity 7 : Giving and receiving compliments (10 minutes)
When our buckets are full, we are more likely to fill our bucket and the buckets of others and when our buckets are empty, we tend to find our-selves dipping. We are going to finish our lesson today by filling up each others' buckets!
Hand out strips of paper for the students to write a compliment to each member of the group to place in their buckets. Ask the students to sit in a circle and place their bucket in front of them. On the white board, write some examples of compliments (kind, smart, funny, sweet, trustworthy, helpful, friendly, honest etc). Hand out 6 pieces of paper to each student so that they can write to each member of the group. Ask them to fold up their message/word and place it in the recipient's basket.Explain to the group that they are not to read their compliments until they are in the car or home.
Concluding Activity: You've Got GRIT (10 minutes).
One at a time, ask each student the following questions. You may like ask students to choose a sticker each time they answer the question.
• What have you enjoyed the most about Get GRIT?
• What have you found to be the most helpful?
• What will you remember about Get GRIT?
• What do you think was the most important lesson for you to learn from Get GRIT?
The lessons you have learned in GRIT you will need throughout your life and it will take practice, and many mistakes, to become more resilient and persistent and better at making and keeping friends. Good luck!